


Expectations

by jturner36



Series: Doug & Carol - by Jordan Turner [24]
Category: E.R.
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 20:01:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14456679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jturner36/pseuds/jturner36
Summary: This story was written around "Vanishing Act".





	Expectations

**Author's Note:**

> The show ER, and all characters and situations borrowed from it, are property of Constant-C, NBC, Warner Brothers, etc. This fanfiction is for entertainment only, and no money is made from it. The story contains graphic scenes and words which may offend some readers, and as such, it is not appropriate for children under 18. This story is not to be archived or distributed without the permission of the author.
> 
> Stories in the series:  
> A Clean Break; Stages of Ending; Retribution; Covenant; Tap-dance; Free Falling; Blink of an Eye; Vivisection; Keepsakes; In the Steam; Through the Night; Cornerstone; Domesticity; Caretaker; To CH; The Empty Space; Tenderhearted; Intoxicated; The Present; Summit; The Harbor, Part I; The Harbor, Part II; Transition Game; Expectations; Joint Venture; Kiss of Life; Residuum; Aftermath; Letters Never Sent; Wonderful Things; The Mere Fragrance; Walking the Tightrope; Vernal Equinox; Bits of Broken Glass; What it's Not; Ayant Seulement L'Imagination; Culmination; Tidings of Comfort; Parallel Hearts; Visitation Rites; Wee Small Hours; Barometric Pressure; The Emerald City; A Peaceable Start; Mother's Day; Spilling Forth; Significant Other; Doug and Carol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hey you, you're a child in my head  
You haven't walked yet  
Your first words have yet to be said  
But I swear you'll be blessed

I know you're still just a dream  
Your eyes might be green  
Or the bluest that I've ever seen  
Anyway you'll be blessed  
\-- Elton John  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Doug? C'mon, I'm gonna be late!"

"Yeah, hang on," he called from the bedroom. It had been an awful morning, a mad rush to get out of the house and off to work. Carol had snapped at him more than once and he finally asked for a truce.

"Hey, hey, Carol! What is with you this morning?"

"Nothing, I'm sorry," she apologized. "I've just got a million things on my mind." She looked at him, trying to gauge his mood, but decided against furthering the discussion. "Ready?"

"Yup." He grabbed some paperwork and headed outside.

She locked the door behind them and walked quickly to the car. "Are you excited about tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah. I just want everything to be okay, you know, from the start. Get everything ready."

Climbing into the car, she looked over at him. He was so proud of himself, of his accomplishment. She was proud of him as well. "It'll be great, Doug." Carol smiled at him and patted his thigh.

He reached down and covered her hand with his. "Thanks for your suggestions, for your help," he said.

She smiled in response, not remembering the last time she'd seen him so driven. He kept flipping through stations, trying to find something besides Howard Stern or Mancow to listen to, knowing she had no tolerance for either. He settled on WNUA, the local jazz station, much to her relief.

She felt so jumpy. What he didn't know, what she hadn't told him yet was that this morning, downing her orange juice, she had glanced at the calendar, then paused in shock. Three days late. Glancing in his direction now, watching him drive, she wondered if she should mention it, but decided against it. She really wasn't sure how he'd respond, what he'd say. Why say anything, she thought, before I really know for sure.

Carol figured she'd wait a few more days before broaching the subject, just to see if her period would start. And then, right after they got to work, when she had decided not to say a thing, it just slipped out. She didn't really mean to tell him that way, but since it had been on her mind the whole ride in, and then he made the remark about the diaphragm, well, and the words just came out of her mouth.

Frustration set in later in the day when she couldn't find a pregnancy test. She considered sending some blood work up to the lab, but simply didn't have the time. Looking up, she saw Doug working with Jeanie. He had seemed absolutely panicked this morning, pacing, wringing his hands. At first she had regretted telling him, especially when he reacted so strongly, but as the day went on, she was glad he knew. If there was any news to tell him, at least he'd be prepared. Maybe it was a mistake, she thought, going off the pill. It had been her idea. One day as she and Doug were relaxing on the porch, she broached the subject with him.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"What's up?" he asked.

"I'm thinking of going off the pill," she proposed.

Doug looked up quickly. "You are?"

"Yeah. I've been on it so long, I just think it's smart to give my body a break," she reasoned.

"Okay. What did you have in mind as a replacement?"

"Well, I thought a diaphragm. I've never used one, but I thought I might want to try."

He nodded his approval. "Oh...okay. Yeah, that's fine. And I can use condoms, sometimes, too. That'd work, right?"

"I think so. I just have no experience using one, is all."

"Well..." he started.

"Do you? Has anyone you've ever...been with, have they used one?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah. It's really no problem. They work."

"Well, I know they do, I'm just afraid it'll spoil the mood, you know, having to stop to put it in...."

"Well, you'll just have to put it in every time we're going to sleep together, and I promise," he stopped a moment and kissed her, smiling, "it won't go to waste."

Carol grinned back, stroking his face. "Every time? You'd exhaust me," she laughed. "The only thing is, you have to use more jelly or cream if you want to have sex more than once...."

"Well, we'll just stock up, then," he chuckled.

*****

Carol spent the rest of the afternoon at trying not to worry about it, but it was futile. She had a hunch when it might have happened. Perhaps it was that one night, two weeks ago, when he had insisted on celebrating....

She had laughed when she walked in to the room. He was lying on the bed wearing only a grin, a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the night table, three candles giving off a soft glow of light. "Come in, Nurse Hathaway, and let's celebrate!"

Her eyes shone with delight. "What are we celebrating, Doug?"

"Well, the end of my probation for one thing, and your success at the clinic...."

"What? Hiring a nurse practitioner?" She laid down next to him and kissed him warmly.

"Absolutely!"

"And, we have to do this naked?" she asked, teasing just a little.

"Absolutely. That's the only way to drink champagne, Carol." He poured some in each glass and handed her one. "A toast. To endings and beginnings."

"Endings I get. Beginnings?"

"Yes, well, your clinic is getting the attention it deserves from management. And...I interview tomorrow for the attending job."

Carol leaned over to kiss him again. "Are you ready for the interview?"

"Yup, I am...and I'm ready for you. C'mere, let me help you out of those clothes."

"Hang on, wait." Carol got up and walked into the bathroom. She returned wearing her t-shirt, bra, and panties. "Now, where were we," she grinned.

"I was going to relieve you of the rest those burdensome clothes," he replied.

"Oh, you're so kind, Doug," she said in a mocking tone, kissing him fully on the lips.

"Of course I am. Always looking to help you out," he answered quietly, then smiled as he started tugging on her t-shirt. Once it was off, he gazed at her breasts and, extending a finger, stroked her soft skin from her neck down to just above her bra, ever so gently. "So pretty, here...so soft," he murmured. "Look, I can see your nipples get hard, right there." He played with one, then the other, through the satin cloth, and they sprang forward in response to his touch. Carol's eyes closed as she savored this, as she anticipated where his lovemaking would take them. He pulled her toward him and stroked her back, pulling her bra straps off her shoulders as he kissed her. "Let's take this off, let me look at you," he said, reaching around to unclasp it. She rose slightly and it fell off her body, off her arms. She pressed against his chest briefly and he could feel her warmth, the hardness of her nipples against him.

She pulled away from him and her hands skimmed his chest, the broadness of his shoulders, coming to rest on his face. "I love your touch, Doug." Her lips met his as she gently kissed him, holding his face close, breathing in the scent of his skin, his after shave, tasting champagne on his lips. Tasting his neck, feeling the tickle of his chest hair on her face, she worked her way down, brushing against his hardness with her lips. He strained toward them. "Impatient tonight?" she taunted sweetly, and she lightly flicked her tongue over the swollen head, hearing him plead for more.

Her tongue teased him, right where the head and shaft met, and he groaned, asking her not to stop. And she didn't. She took him fully in her mouth and sucked deeply, making him call out, and at once, she could feel the head swell, flaring in response to the warmth and wetness of her mouth. Involuntarily, his hips moved as he thrust in and out of her mouth. "I'm close," he breathed, and at once she stopped, licking lightly once again as he protested mildly. "Carol, don't stop."

"But I want you to come inside me tonight, Doug. I want you."

He opened his eyes, and she saw a desperate need in them. "Carol, please."

"I'll take care of you tonight, just not like that." Her fingers grazed his penis lightly, tracing each part of him and she smiled. "It's hard, Doug."

Shifting her body, she rubbed her right nipple over his mouth and he grasped it, sucking hard. He held her to him tightly, pulling it in deeper and deeper, making her arch to him. Blurring the line between her pleasure and pain, causing a sharp cry to pour forth from her.

"Too much, Carol?" Doug's eyes were intense, his voice seductive.

"No," she whispered.

He smiled, pinching it between his fingers and she gasped again, closing her eyes and pulling her shoulders back, offering herself for his pleasure. She guided his hand toward the wetness between his legs and he smoothed it over her clitoris, making slow, circular motions as he felt it stiffen beneath his touch. Taking her left breast in his hand, he massaged and squeezed it and drew the nipple in again, this time more gently. "This better?" Barely touching it, his lips grazed it until she pulled his head into her breast, wanting that delicious feeling again. He sucked it in as his tongue passed over it.

"Don't make me wait anymore. I wanna fuck you," he said roughly. Doug tried to pull her on top of him, tried to enter her, but she resisted, pulling out of his embrace.

"No." Carol turned over on her stomach, looking back at him. "Like this tonight." She parted her thighs and he became lubricated at the sight of her, the roundness of her bottom in the air. She was there, open and waiting for him to enter her.

Doug stroked her back, her narrow waist, and then was drawn to her wetness. He teased the outside first, using the lightest of touches, then slowly put a finger in. Carol was overwhelmed with sensation and, lowering her head and chest on the bed, offered herself to him. He took his penis in his hand and rubbed against her, and as she spread her legs, he thrust forward, pausing just outside her slick opening.

He felt her push back to meet him and watched as she closed her eyes and sighed when he penetrated her. He took hold of her hips and pushed all the way into her, making her moan, causing her fingers to rake the sheets.

"Doug, it feels big," she whimpered.

He slowed his motion.

"No, no, don't stop. Please."

Carol buried her face in her pillow and Doug, seeing this, pulled her back to him and then eased out of her, only to plunge back in again. "Is this what you wanted tonight, Carol?"

"You're what I want every night."

Arms splayed in front of her, she crashed back against him. Doug reached around then, rubbing her clitoris, wanting to watch her, feel her climax.

"Doug, right there." she groaned, spreading her legs further apart, wanting him totally. "Deeper...oh, I'm coming," she cried loudly, and he watched as her face was infused with pleasure, as her fingers dug into the mattress and her hair flew, tangled and wild across the pillows. The rhythmic clutching, the heat and wetness of her proved too much for him to bear. He felt the explosion come from within him and then he groaned and buried himself deep inside her, coming right after she did, his body lurching and tightening with sensation, holding her hips to keep her from moving away from him. Her movements quieted and she waited for him to relax as well. Carol settled onto the bed and he went with her, kissing her face with tender, gentle lips. He shifted slightly, trying to ease himself off her.

"Don't."

"What?" he asked.

"Leave me yet."

Doug smiled, obliging, and rolled onto his side, bringing her with him, remaining inside of her, holding her breast in his hand. Carol loved prolonging their contact this way and wriggled back against him. "I love you so much," she sighed.

Gently kissed her back, he whispered something in her ear that caused her to smile. They stayed that way for a few minutes.

Carol sighed, so content. "I love the way you feel inside of me, Doug, I love being this close to you."

He started to move again, her words spurring him on. "I love being inside of you, Carol, being with you. There's no place I'd rather be."

Carol rocked her hips, moving against him. "We shouldn't do this again, without more...."

"I know." But he didn't stop, his movements were quickening; he laid his hand on her hip, pulling her to him.

"Doug, we shouldn't, again."

"Uh uh, we shouldn't...oh, Carol...feel you...."

*****

Maybe, she thought, we really shouldn't have.

Later in the day, Carol searched for a pregnancy test, but there were none to be found. Well, I guess that'll delay the news, she thought. News. Wow, she realized. What news that would be. A baby. As she worked on her charts, she thought about it. Would I have to quit work? Could I nurse a baby and work these crazy hours? I'd probably never see Doug at work, I guess we'd work different shifts so one of us was with the baby. We're not even married. How would he react to this? Carol shook her head in dismay. Too much to think about now.

A baby.

One last image passed through her mind. It was just a transient thought, really. A little boy, running in from a day of playing outside, that good outdoor-kid smell all over him. Brown eyes, an impish grin. A hellion. That's what she imagined. An absolute hellion. Doug as a little boy. She smiled at the thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I need you before I'm too old  
To have and to hold  
To walk with you and watch you grow  
And know that you're blessed  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doug looked around at the newly-decorated room and was satisfied. Tomorrow, the pediatric emergency area would be ready for patients. He walked around, just soaking everything in. It amazed him that things worked out this way. His abilities, his drive, his goals and ideas had finally been validated and the result was here in this room, with these beds. A stark contrast to the way his career had been going just a few years ago, when he was within inches of being fired.

Everything was going along so well, save one thing: Carol's startling announcement today had him on edge. Waiting in line for a burger, fries, and a shake, he thought about it. What did they say, history repeats itself? He'd heard the same words before, the same ones Carol eased at him today: "I'm late." It was no less shocking now than it had been then. Once the shock wore off, though, he came to the conclusion that this time was so different. He paid for the food, and as he walked back, his mind's eye could picture it: A little girl, head full of bouncing curls, running toward him, brown eyes dancing, arms outstretched. There to greet him after a long day, just like her mother. It made him smile inwardly.

He had tried several times during the day to talk to her, to see how she was. He had only one opportunity, right before she left work, when they talked in the lounge.

*****

"Hey, Doug, I'm heading home. You coming soon?"

"Nah, not yet, there are a just a few more things I need to take care of." Doug stroked her arm lightly, a look of quiet concern on his face. "How're you doin'?"

"I'm fine, Doug, what did you expect?"

"Well, I don't know, did you run a test today?"

"No, I didn't," she shrugged. "I was too busy. I'm not all that concerned, don't you be."

"Yeah, okay, fine. I'm not, I'm just...."

"Relax, Doug. I'm going home, I'll see you later, okay?" Carol gave him a quick kiss and a reassuring smile.

*****

Doug turned off the light to the new unit and went back to the locker room to get his things. As he walked out to the car, he thought about the prospect of being a father. And he knew that he had the poorest role model in Ray.

His memories of his own father were vivid. Ray had been a hero to him, when he was a little boy. The "fun" parent, always ready to do something that was just wrong enough to make a little boy's imagination soar. When he was small, he was willing to forget the spankings, the slaps across the face, being banged up against a wall. Doug thought he must have done something to deserve his father's wrath, and so tried even harder to be a good boy. His father would leave, then, and slowly, quietly, his mother would creep into his room, gather him up in her arms and soothe him until he went to sleep. Doug learned quickly to shield his heart from this hurt, to crawl inside himself, only letting his true feelings out when he was in his mother's embrace. Then, and only then, would he cry.

His father would come and go as he pleased. Sometimes he'd stay for months at a stretch, other times he'd just stop in for a hot meal, money, and, he would say, to "spend some time with your mother." Things became progressively worse until the day he came home from school to witness a fight between Ray and his mother. Ray was screaming something that Doug didn't understand then, something about his mother needing to "put out." Something that Doug cringed at later, as an adult. Doug walked into the kitchen in time to see Ray smash her against the wall. He threw down his books and put his twelve-year-old body between them, defying his father to hurt her again.

"Move out of the way, now!" Ray bellowed, but Doug stood his ground. The next thing Doug remembered was being pulled up off the floor by his mother. They were alone in the house; Ray had fled, never returning.

What kind of father would I be, he thought, with Ray as an example. Could I do it? The thought of screwing up such an important job was sobering. He wanted to do the right thing with Carol, and for any children they might have. It wasn't right, he thought, not knowing if she was or wasn't pregnant, spending all this time worrying. Not being able to prepare. He drove past their street, past the grocery store, and pulled into the Walgreen's Pharmacy. If Carol was pregnant, they should know soon. The sooner the better for prenatal care.

He walked in to the store and looked around. Where would it be? He tried first by the formula and diapers, but didn't see anything. Then he went over to the pharmaceutical section, near the contraceptives, but no luck. Sighing, he was just about to give up when a clerk walked over. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi, I'm looking for a...pregnancy test."

"Sure," he answered, "by, uh...you know, by women's...personal, uh, products...."

"Oh. Yeah, okay, thanks." Well, talk about taking care of all your needs, no matter what, he thought. He walked down the aisle, amazed that there were so many different...choices for women. He finally came upon the tests and was again overwhelmed.

"How many different brands of these do they need?" he muttered under his breath.

*****

Carol strolled home from the grocery store, trying to enjoy the solitude. Yet she felt very stressed, unsettled. If I am pregnant, she thought, what will that mean for Doug and me? What will he think? And, what kind of a mother would I be?

Carol's own mother had been a worrier. Her view of life was "if something bad is going to happen, it will, so you'd better live your life expecting it to." Left with children to take care of after her husband died, she never dated, saying all men would give you was babies and heartache. When her mother started on another one of her rampages, Carol would sneak down to the basement to look at pictures of her father. He was a handsome man with a generous smile and when she looked at the pictures, she used to pretend he was a king, off fighting battles, or a famous writer, away somewhere writing fairy tales for little girls.

Helen Hathaway was an overprotective mother who loved her children, but in retrospect, Carol could scarcely remember much tenderness in her house. That was one of the reasons why, she reasoned, it had taken her so long to accept Doug's gentleness as being genuine. It was so wonderful, experiencing it, that she had resisted the temptation to enjoy it. Just in case it was taken away. Then, it wouldn't hurt so much.

Carol walked up the steps and opened the door, putting the packages down in the kitchen. Home, finally. What a long day it had been, she thought. Then, all at once, she felt something. She walked into the bathroom to check, and as she pulled down her pants, what she saw then stopped her cold. Oh.

Oh.

Well, then. Okay.

She searched under the cabinet and took out a tampon. Her fingers shook as she opened it. She should be relieved. Absolutely relieved. After removing the rest of her clothes, she pulled back the shower curtain and let the water run over, diffusing her tension. She washed her hair, scrubbed her body, and then laid her hand on her flat stomach briefly. Finally, she emerged, took a towel from the rack, dried herself and walked into the bedroom for some clean clothes. Well. Time to go outside. I'll start the grill, she thought. After I get a beer.

The night air was soft. Perfect. Carol stared at the flames, self-absorbed. Trying to figure out just what she felt. She heard a car door slam, heard Doug as he walked to the backyard.

"What...what are you doing back here?" he asked, chuckling.

"Waiting for the grill to heat up," she answered flatly.

He sat down, exhausted. "I thought this was 'fend for yourself' night."

"Nah, I'm sick of fend for yourself. I got us some steaks."

"Steak sounds good," he approved. Looking at the beer, he asked, "Got another one of those for me?"

"Yup," she replied as she handed on to him. She noticed his package and was mildly curious. "What's in the bag?"

"Uh, that's a...pregnancy test." He looked over at her. "To be sure.

Carol smiled and looked away. "No need. I started my period."

He looked over, surprised. Stunned. It was not what he'd expected, somehow. Not what he'd anticipated. Looking away, he remarked, "Well, I guess I wasted $17.50."

"No, save it for next time." Doug turned to look at her, trying to gauge her feelings. "I'm kidding," she insisted, matching his gaze. "That was a joke."

He couldn't look at her, just then. "We dodged the bullet there, didn't we?" he ventured.

"Yup." They smiled briefly, staring at the flames again.

"That's good, right?" he asked, testing the waters.

"Yeah, yeah," Carol offered. She was wistful and, sharing herself for a moment, opened up a bit. "Though, all day I kept thinking: 'Wow, a kid'...you know that would really...change my life."

"Our life...change ours," he countered quickly.

Carol turned her head, sweetly smiling. "Okay...our lives."

Doug thought about this and hesitated before he probed again. "And that would be bad, right?"

She couldn't continue with this charade. "You know what? I changed my mind; I don't want to joke about it."

"Yeah," he agreed. Emotions welled up in him and he retreated, staring again into the fire, afraid of being the first to admit what he was thinking, feeling. And then, despite himself, he had to finish. "Maybe I'm not joking."

She turned to stare at him, to see if he was teasing her, but he wasn't. So, he'd be the brave one, she thought. He looked away and in his face, she could have sworn that what she saw in him was poorly masked disappointment. It was not what she'd anticipated. Not at all. They remained like that for some time because Carol was too apprehensive to counter, or validate, his statement. It lingered between them like low clouds that could not be blown away. Finally, needing to extricate herself from the heaviness of their conversation, Carol said, "I think the grill's ready. I'll put on the steaks if you go inside and grab the potato salad."

"Did you get 'Grandma's Potato Salad,' from Jewel?" he asked.

"Um hmm," she smiled back, "it's the kind you like, isn't it?"

Doug got up and walked into the house. He searched through the bags on the counter, looking for the potato salad. She must have put it in the refrigerator, he thought. But then, he saw one more bag, on the kitchen table, and looked in there. Suddenly, all his doubts about what he suspected he'd heard in her voice were dispelled. He saw a pregnancy test in the bag. She must have bought it at the store, she was concerned, too. Maybe she wanted this more than she'd let on.

Doug smiled slightly, wondering if they had been thinking about the same things. He decided not to broach the subject with her just yet, feeling she was too vulnerable right now. Her emotions were simmering so close to the surface, he was afraid to set her off. He'd give her more time, he decided, to let things settle down.

*****

"The steak is good, thanks Carol," he said between bites. "It's nice out here tonight, isn't it? Not too buggy." His attempts at small-talk were failing.

"Um hmm. Nice," she answered absentmindedly.

"Do you want to go for a walk after dinner?"

"No. I'm tired."

"Oh, c'mon, a walk'll do you good. If you're not with me, I'll have to stop and talk to Mrs. Markovitz about her gout, just to be polite," he chided.

"No," she smiled. "Not tonight. You go."

"Okay. You want me to clean up first?"

"I've got it. Go."

Doug stood up and paused a moment, wanting to hug her. She turned her body away from him ever so slightly. He backed off and walked toward the front of the house, down the street.

She was already in bed, eyes closed, when he finally came back in. He was quiet, getting undressed and slipping beside her without making a sound. Her back was to him, her hair lay in a mass behind her, spilling off her pillow. Feeling so tender and protective of her right now, he longed to hold her. He needed to.

"Hey," he whispered. "You up?"

"Yeah," she replied.

Doug played with her hair briefly, his thoughts careening back to earlier today, to his fleeting daydream. That's okay, he thought. Really. He stayed still, laying on his side facing her. "C'mere, Carol," he said, reaching out to her.

"Doug, we can't tonight, you know, it just started...."

"No, no, I know, just...c'mere. I just...I want to hold you."

Her carefully constructed shell was just setting, taking shape. "Not right now."

A little hurt, very subdued, he backed away. He stared at the back of her head. And so they occupied the same bed, but two separate spaces.

Everything was so silent, just then, save one thing: His heart was screaming out to her. She didn't hear it, though, not right away. But finally, finally she remembered the look on his face when she told him tonight, the tone of his voice, and slowly recognized his need, what he meant, what he was asking for. "Doug?'

"Hmm?"

"Don't be angry," she began, her voice quiet and even.

"Don't shut me out," he countered.

"I'm not. Well, it's...if you hold me right now, I'll just...unravel. I will."

"Unravel, then," he murmured tenderly. "I'm here." He went to her side, pulled her to him, and she rolled over, plunging her face into his neck as his arms took her in. A deep sigh from her, then silent tears.

"I was thinking today, Doug."

"Me too."

"I mean," she began, "it's not how I would have planned things...."

"No," he agreed.

"I can't even explain why I feel this way."

"I know." He cradled her in his arms. "You know what I thought about?" he offered cautiously.

"What?"

Becoming quieter, reflective, smiling briefly, he looked at her, then looked away, unable to reveal himself fully under her gaze. "I thought about you...carrying my baby...." He swallowed hard.

"Your baby," she echoed, smiling. "Our baby...." she added, cuddling closer to him.

"Ours. It's the closest two people can get, you know, making...someone who would be...part of you, part of me...." Then he stopped talking, not ready to share everything. What he didn't say would have spoken volumes: That a baby would be a part of Carol that no one, not even Carol, could ever take away from him; his first real family.

Carol pulled away from him, to look at him full in the face. "This morning, you were upset."

Smiling back, he shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I was...concerned. Then, after I thought about it, well, it wouldn't be so bad, really. It would have been okay."

"Okay, huh?"

"Yeah." Doug paused a moment. "It would have been okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
And you, you'll be blessed  
You'll have the best  
I promise you that  
I'll pick a star from the sky  
Pull your name from a hat  
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that  
You'll be blessed  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end


End file.
